Hey there, its the 5 day in a row posting here! This writing a post for 7 consecutive day from the #YourTurnChallenge is quite the regimen to behold.
Today I want to share with you a topic that really changed my way of seeing children and therefore it has change my life.
Before kids came into my life I was not really interested in them. I never babysat. I might hold an infant for about 10 minutes but I always thought I did not habour natural nurturing instincts like other girl friends I knew. I was always very content with the idea of not having children and just enjoy being a modern working woman.
The story of how I got here, not only a mother to two boys but a homeschooling mama to boot (gasp!) should be written in another post for I want to focus on sharing with you one of the biggest lightbulb moments my my parenting journey.
“Young children from infancy do not need to be entertained.”
Yes that was the message I got – and really needed to hear from a “professional” – on the first day I walked into a Waldorf parent and tot class, nineteen months into motherhood. While before that day, I was fortunate enough to have encountered some amazing resources (oh I will share those!) that had lead me to find “Waldorf” and the philosophies of Dr. Rudolf Steiner.
Well, if children do not need to be entertained, then what do we do with them at home all day long?! (That is if you are at home with them). That was the question that came up right after that statement from this amazing Waldorf early childhood educator.
“Young children need to do purposeful work, this is how you help them build their true will and their sense of self.”
Now please note that the “true will” is different than “willful”. If anything a willful child is actually a child that lacks true will. This topic was so well explained to me when I went to a lecture by Kim John Payne – the author of the game-changer book Simplicity Parenting. (I think this is a must read for all parents) Sorry, I digress so…
The big question:
What is it that we do with children if we are not to entertain them or find them something to be entertained by?
The big answer:
We engage them in doing purposeful work.
What is purposeful work we ask?
Well, isn’t that what is really missing in our modern culture today, especially in first world countries where knowledge and winning trumps everything?
Purposeful work is in my opinion the hallmark work of building true character with strength, values and empathy in our children–and for the rest of their lives– without having to actually verbally teach it. That is the glorious beauty of engaging your young ones in purposeful, meaningful work.
What actually is meaningful work one would ask. Here is a list of example of what it may be:
- washing dishes
- cleaning the floor
- laundering clothes
- ironing (yes! tell me who irons these days? Who do you know has the patience to do this job today? Ironically – no pun intended – ironing actually is one of the best activity to develop focus, patience, hand-eye coordination, and last but not least something that most people complain about our youth today for not having: followthrough. Yes ironing is actually something that can build character!! Oh but it is so hot and it is too dangerous, I will not let me kid touch an iron. Well of course you are not going to let a baby or 3 year old actually iron but if you actually do ironing in front of them on a regular basis as part of your weekly rhythm, out of the blue one day when they are 4.5 years old, they will ask if they can use the actual iron and be able to iron and fold napkins better than your grandmother. True story. )
- cleaning windows with newspaper (with vinegar diluted in water)
- taking care of the garden ie. pulling weeds, raking leaves, mixing soil etc.
- grow food (yes you can do this even if you don’t have a garden or balcony)
- caring for pets – everything from grooming, taking them for walks, feeding them.
- setting the table
- help prepare meals.
Oh the list can go on. I’ve been asked about how one can make an infant, preschooler actually do purposeful work? The answer is that YOU actually are doing this purposeful work in front of them while they are by your side shadowing you while they…the drum roll…PLAY ON THEIR OWN!!! (Refer to my post on letting kids be bored and here as well.)
Of course the icing on top would be that you sing while you do these “chores”, but that is asking for a lot isn’t it?! Okay one lightbulb moment at a time.
I would love to elaborate more on this for I love talking and helping people figure out how to be purposeful at home with young children but it is Friday evening and I am going to celebrate the end of a hard working week hanging out with my love. Yes the kids are sound asleep and peace has reigned in our home.
Much love and warmth,