The Big Picture

Beach Combing

The fact is our parenting journey goes by so fast.  During the early years, the days may feel so long but the years are short.  Now that we are a little over four years into this phase of our lives, we are finding time is speeding by faster than ever before.  We just blinked and our first boy will be five this year.

Recently, I stumbled upon this Podcast by Jack Petrash, an author, a parent/teacher educator, a master Waldorf Teacher and the founder and director of the Nova Institute.  This Podcast was a talk he did a few years ago about the basic overview of his book Navigating the Terrain of Childhood” – A Guidebook for Meaningful Parenting and Heartfelt Discipline.  His talk was one of the most beautiful rendition of the big picture of the parenting journey that I’ve ever heard in less than 60 minutes.  It was so simple, earnest and heartfelt as well as moving and exquisitely descriptive using the metaphor of a road trip through the United States, starting in the east coast from North Carolina to the west coast ending in California.

My heart was so full by the end his talk, my eyes were filled with tears that streamed down with overwhelming knowledge these beautiful years of wonderment with our boys will just fly by.  It is not like we don’t know this – that children will grow up fast – but it was how he told this story, almost like a fairytale that made this talk so different than all the other ways it had been presented to me before.  It was so moving and most of all inspiring.  It has inspired me to become even more conscious that I feel I already am, and to live in the present with even more conviction that I will not take ANY moment with my boys for granted.  I want to be able to be real and truthful with them with as much clarity as I possibly can.  I just want to be there, with eyes wide open.   I’m not here just to serve them and help them grow, I am doing this for Vince and myself too!

I’m not sure who will stumble upon this post, but if you are reading this and you have children then I would strongly recommend listening to this wonderful gem.  It will open your heart and your mind to see the humanity of all our journeys, it will add some more depth to the way you see the world and your children and most of all, yourself.

I would love to hear your feedback and listen to your thoughts on this.

With much affection,

Grace

A technical note on the Podcast:  It is divided into 11 Segments and they are not arranged in chronological order, so you will need to select each one as you go along.  Also, the time stamp of these segments are incorrect, each Segment is only about 5 minutes long so don’t be taken that this is going to be a long drawn-out lecture.  

Speaking Less as More

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Parenting with less words.

One of the main shift in paradigm for me after becoming a parent is to truly understand the importance of not talking too much to a young child.

I was under the impression that I will need to “teach” many things to my child and tell them all about their world and surroundings.  It is such a common thing in our society when talking to very young persons is to ask about what is their favourite,  ask them to name an object or colour and mostly sentences will start is the word “What”.

What is your favourite colour?

What is your favourite animal?

What would you like to eat?

What would you like? This? or That?

This is usually how we adults think to engage in a conversation with kids.

My husband and I don’t do that anymore.  It was not an easy habit to break but after understanding how questions can actually stress and pressure a young child’s development, we simply cannot  continue as “normal”.  The normal in our household now is to listen and observe more.  We comment and ask much less.  Ever since we’ve become conscience of this, we have noticed a significant change in the overall energy in our environment.  It is much more peaceful and the day goes by with more harmony.

Some days, I get commented on the gentle and calmness of  our little boys’ dispositions.  Our society’s expectation of the behaviour of boys is usually loud, physical and rambunctious to name a few.  As if gentleness and calm are something so rarely “natural” in children (especially boys) and that we must have won the lottery (twice!).   Most people are in awe at how observant and engaging they are.

Since I usually do not talk about parenting unless when asked, I just make a mental note to myself that I know I have found one of the secrets to parenting that will result in overall serenity:

In speaking less to your child, they will blossom (even more) before your eyes.

I’m sure I will be writing more on this topic…

g.