Feeding Your Kids Boredom, Another Cornerstone of NOFOMO Living

beautyofboredom

Here it goes, day 2 of my #YourTurnChallenge
(I am challenging myself to post everyday this week – so bare with me, very little editing is done.  Apologize in advance the spelling and grammatical errors.  I really want to practice the “just ship” discipline. )

Many people would not believe me when I first tell them our boys do have not watched a day of television, a lick of computer time and played with my phone, let alone a learning app on the iPad.

But when our friends and family experience them in person, (they are six and three and a half years old) they do feel there is something quite different with the way they interact with the world and mostly they cannot put a finger as to why that is.

This is not a post bragging about how amazing my children is. This is a post on our experience and objective observation on the effects of our No Media discipline.

I too had my doubts. For a long time I just chalked up my first born as one of those rare kids that is naturally good at playing on his own, by chance. We lucked out.

But when the second boy came along, I began to realize soon after his birth that this is not the case OR that I have won the lottery twice.

After six years into this discipline, I feel I can safely say that the No Media Policy (for the kids only, we do use our mobile devices but rarely in their faces, and watch movies when they are asleep) that our commitment to trying is out is paying off in thousand folds.

Most people don’t see how it can be different, they think that kids are kids, and like candy, they just have to experience it somehow, somewhere. Such is life.

I am speaking merely to the early childhood phase of course. I know things will change as they get older but during these foundation years, this kind of discipline we are upholding really does play a huge part on our children’s overall development.

Here is what we have learned and observed:

1. They can keep their attention span for a long time on any given subject of interest. From watching someone cook, to a construction worker working on the siding, to a person playing the violin on the street.

2. Their imagination is pure and dreamy. I would know that almost everything that they express is authentic to their character coming forth.

3. Their speech is clear and articulate. They don’t talk like a cartoon characters.

4. On a scientific level, boredom will help with a young child in the enrichment of the wiring of their brains, their neural plasticity.

Specifically from new born up to 4 (approx), the most optimal way to protect and aid in the synaptic refinement to their full potential is to keeping their environment as serene as possible.

In other words, less is really much more than we think, especially for a young child, contrary to how our modern society pushes the more is more philosophy.

In Dr. Lise Eliot’s book “ What’s Going On In There?, she mentioned :

“ The initial wiring of a particular brain region (the period of synapse overproduction) marks the onset of a particular ability, such as vision in the first few months and language in the second year. But it is the prolonged pruning period that fixes the overall quality of that ability, because this is when experience –translated into neural activity–decides which connections will be preserved and, consequently, how the brain will be permanently wired for certain ways of thinking, perceiving, and acting.

As long as an excess number of synapses are present, the brain remains maximally plastic and can develop in a variety of ways. But once those excess synapses are gone, the critical period is over, and it must make do with its existing circuitry; there is no trading up for a faster computer.”

So the next time your little kid is looking bored and staring out the window or in “space”, know that there is a WHOLE LOT going on in there and please do not “snap” them out of it.

5. Through boredom, we are giving them a gift of the space to rise above it and come up with new ideas on their own. Hence, in no time, especially when you are not afraid of “letting them be bored” from an early age, they will be come so skilled in playing on their own.

6. Last but not least. I have yet to teach our boys the actual word “bored”. So in many ways, they have yet to experiece it cognitively therefore they have never nagged and whined about being bored. In other words, what you don’t know won’t hinder you.

Now imagine how nice it is to be able to be in the same room as 2 toddlers and we are all doing our own thing together without the television on? Well, I really want to share with those of you who do not think it is possible that it is. It just takes the vision and the willingness to try out this discipline for at least a week. I can guarantee that peace will reign upon your household, and much longer than a tv program to say the least!

Go on and unplug that TV and iDevices. Just like weening off anything, the first few days will be tough but have the faith and know that in doing so, you will see a difference in the overall energy in your household and you will not want to turn it back on again…until they turn ten years old, maybe.

Much warmth,
Grace

NOFOMO living + the Your Turn Challenge

nofomoliving

Hello there!  Happy 2015.  As the title may suggest, we are a NOFOMO (No-Fear-Of-Missing-Out) kind of family.

My husband and I have never been the new years resolution type but we do love a good challenge when it comes to self/family improvement.

I stumbled upon this interesting “just ship” challenge through a Seth Godin blog post about blogging something everyday for one week called the #YourTurnChallenge.  So here it goes.  I’m going to try posting everyday this week.

I did ponder for a while about what I want to write about everyday this week.  Honestly, there are so much I want to share with you about the interesting experiences we have been going through as a family ever since we have committed to a not-fear-of-missing-out way of life with ourselves and with raising our two little boys.

So on this first post, I want to make a disclaimer/manifesto about some of the topics I will be sharing.

1.  Just because we do live with habits that may not be the mainstream, it does not mean we do not hang out with people who enjoy the things we don’t.

2. We live in the suburbs but we do not frequent big box stores.

3. Our boys had been raised (so far) in what I would describe as “Analog”.  They are six and three and a half years old and never have they watched a TV program and/or used the computer – that includes iPads and handheld devices.  My husband and I want to do an experiment/challenge to see how hard it is to be completely media free with children.

With that being said – re: our analog kids, both my husband and I LOVE and work in the tech field.  So we are NOT luddites.

4.  Even though we live by a simple is better, less is more, slow is awesome philosophy, we do not hate money, people with money, beautiful things, things and ideas of quality or people who like facebook etc.

5.  We are interested exploring how learning and education can be different than what my husband and I grew up with – going to school, earning your “stripes” and one’s place in the world through this tradition system.  In other words we have become a homeschooling family and I will be sharing a lot of our NOFOMO experience through the insights of homeschooling and/or one can use the term unschooling.

6.  Last but not least – we are two first generation Chinese/Canadian kids (which spent our early years in Hong Kong) that got together when we were in our mid-twenties and feed our kids chicken feet, play them Dustin O’ Halloran in the car and we drink bone broths (almost) everyday not because it is cool.

I look forward to writing more tomorrow!

Much warmth,
Grace