Parenting with less words.
One of the main shift in paradigm for me after becoming a parent is to truly understand the importance of not talking too much to a young child.
I was under the impression that I will need to “teach” many things to my child and tell them all about their world and surroundings. It is such a common thing in our society when talking to very young persons is to ask about what is their favourite, ask them to name an object or colour and mostly sentences will start is the word “What”.
What is your favourite colour?
What is your favourite animal?
What would you like to eat?
What would you like? This? or That?
This is usually how we adults think to engage in a conversation with kids.
My husband and I don’t do that anymore. It was not an easy habit to break but after understanding how questions can actually stress and pressure a young child’s development, we simply cannot continue as “normal”. The normal in our household now is to listen and observe more. We comment and ask much less. Ever since we’ve become conscience of this, we have noticed a significant change in the overall energy in our environment. It is much more peaceful and the day goes by with more harmony.
Some days, I get commented on the gentle and calmness of our little boys’ dispositions. Our society’s expectation of the behaviour of boys is usually loud, physical and rambunctious to name a few. As if gentleness and calm are something so rarely “natural” in children (especially boys) and that we must have won the lottery (twice!). Most people are in awe at how observant and engaging they are.
Since I usually do not talk about parenting unless when asked, I just make a mental note to myself that I know I have found one of the secrets to parenting that will result in overall serenity:
In speaking less to your child, they will blossom (even more) before your eyes.
I’m sure I will be writing more on this topic…
Today was a day of utmost simplicity. After a wonderful 3 day weekend filled with quality family gatherings and outings, hosting out -of-town guests, and closing it with a birthday party at a friend’s house, we are all over played.
I was so looking forward to today where I know will be a day of tranquility and I am so glad it turned out to be just that. Both our boys (4 and 1.5 years old) woke up to a day of reset and we were all delighted to know that there was no agenda to abide to except for our simple yet solid rhythm of meals, free play and rest.
I wanted to set the tone by not speaking too much, not asking questions and keeping requests, tasks and activities to a minimum. Both boys took to this quiet energy like a warm blanket on a cold winter’s day. They just nestled into their imagery worlds with a knowing that they will not be interrupted. I was just a facilitator and a recorder of their unconscious little selves, being as free and as relaxed as they needed to be.
These are the days I feel so good about choosing to be at home with them. The quietness of today allowed me to witness the unfolding special-ness of a childhood. It makes me breathe deeper and cherish my role as a stay-at-home mother that much more.
This is not my first attempt in starting a blog, but this is my first attempt in telling stories of my family’s quest in living a simple fulfilling existence.
Vince and I met 14 years ago. Everything started to simplify and fall into place from that fateful Valentines Day. I do still squirm at the fact that we met on one of the most expectedly “romantic” day of the year. Something I will have to live with for the rest of my life.
My goal here on this blog is to record the things we have learned throughout our time together as well as lessons in parenting two wonderful little human beings that we’ve made. There is a lot to share and I am hoping that this will develop into something wonderful.